Jokes

Geology rocks...

...but geography is where it's at

So what if I don't know what 'Armageddon' means...

...it's not the end of the world

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory...

...all I did was take a day off!

I hate Russian dolls...

...they're so full of themselves

I've just written a song about tortillas...

...actually, it's more of a rap

The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar...

...things got a little tense.

I used to think I was indecisive...

...but now I'm not too sure

You'll never be as lazy...

...as whoever named the fireplace

Will glass coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

I have a few jokes about unemployed people...

...but none of them work

What do you call a fish wearing a crown?

A kingfish

When life gives you melons...

...you might be dyslexic.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...

...I had to put my foot down