Jokes

Will glass coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen

When life gives you melons...

...you might be dyslexic.

You'll never be as lazy...

...as whoever named the fireplace

Geology rocks...

...but geography is where it's at

I hate Russian dolls...

...they're so full of themselves

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory...

...all I did was take a day off!

What do you call a fish wearing a crown?

A kingfish

I used to think I was indecisive...

...but now I'm not too sure

I have a few jokes about unemployed people...

...but none of them work

I've just written a song about tortillas...

...actually, it's more of a rap

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...

...I had to put my foot down

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

So what if I don't know what 'Armageddon' means...

...it's not the end of the world

The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar...

...things got a little tense.